Somewhere in the boxes of black and white photos under my bed is a small print of me, aged three, talking to the trees. From the look on my face, it’s an animated conversation.
As the youngest, by six years, of a large extended family of under 18-year-olds, I was used to being left to entertain myself. And that meant constructing a world of imagination from both what was present in the ‘real world’, and that world that only I could see. I spoke everything aloud. My thoughts and my feelings. And when I spoke to adults they were surprised at the tone and content of what I had to say.
The process of thinking aloud as a way of making sense of the world, and what I thought and felt about it were taking root.
At school learning to read, I sounded out words, getting a feel, almost a taste for them. As I moved through junior school we were all expected to read aloud to the rest of the class. Sometimes terrifying, sometimes a chore, always a normal part of classroom life. In Maths class we were encouraged to think through problems aloud, showing our working in spoken language, as well as on the written page.
The act of hearing ourselves speak other’s thoughts, and voicing our own out loud was a powerful tool for learning, in legitimising our experiences, and working through challenges.
But at some point, the majority of us stop this activity, of speaking to ourselves, certainly in public, and sometimes even in private. For many of us adults speaking to ourselves carries societal stigma and cultural judgement.
However, attitudes are changing and positive self-talk is now part of many well-being approaches, which is fantastic.
What I’m advocating here, however, is something beyond self-talk. It is sense-making through speaking aloud; it is processing your understanding of a situation or exploring your options to a challenge; it is externalising the thought process; it is doing the messy bit of working out what you think in plain sight.
And why am I advocating this? Because I think we’re in danger of being wedded to the perfect thought, the original idea, the pithy quote. And while that works for some, it silences others.
Therefore, sharing the journey of your thinking might be even more fruitful for you and for others, than merely sharing the shiny, honed to perfection, outcome.
Share the journey of your thinking
La Caminante de Luna
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